Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
