gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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