Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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