Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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