You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
