Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
