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I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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