I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
