just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
