You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
