best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
