I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
