oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
