@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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