so explain again why im purple
no
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
