Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i think my cat just said my name.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
