using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
