Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
