If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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