rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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