I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
