oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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