Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize