He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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