Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
