sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
there was a trapeze. enough said
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
