somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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