I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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