i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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