Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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