we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Let's paint friendship bongs
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize