hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
