So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize