I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
