I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
so much tequila, so little girl.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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