Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
