wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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