I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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