New invention idea: vibrating tampons
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
