I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize