Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
