No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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