Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
