Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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