Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
