Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
