Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
me + whiskey = a bad person
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
