Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
