i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
