Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
