Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
