I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
