a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
