Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
