smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
