How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
