4 words: hood of his car
two words: eviction party
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
