It's Friday. Sex?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
