I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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